I am not sure if you guys are familiar with what is going on at the Bronx Zoo but the reptile keepers lost an Egyptian Cobra. Because of this the Reptile House has been closed to visitors. However some hilarious genius started a Twitter account pretending to be that cobra as if he was out on the town. The following are his twitter updates. Pretty damn funny.
Bronx Zoo’s Cobra
@BronxZoosCobra I’m not at the Bronx Zoo.
I’m an Egyptian cobra out on the town. BronxZoosCobra@gmail.com
It’s so cold out. Gonna go get my schvitz on at Wall Street Bath. Thanks for the tip @SpaSally
According to the rules of Twitter, I think I’m supposed to announce a multi-city comedy tour now. Right @ConanOBrien
On top of the Empire State Building! All the people look like little mice down there. Delicious little mice. #snakeonthetown
Can you hear me now? RT @SteveMartinToGo
Phone rings. Caller ID: Bronx Zoo. It’s the snake. Hard to hear. Lots of hissing on line.
Don’t turn around. I’m right behind you. Just kidding! lol!
Taking the Sex and the City Tour!!! I’m totally a SSSamantha.#snakeonthetown
At the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The Temple of Dendur really kicks some asp. #snakeonthetown
It’s getting pretty cold out. I think it’s probably time to crash. Oh look, an apartment window someone left open just a crack. Perfect!
If I recognize a single belt… RT @Bergdorfs
it’s a good time to visit you know. Our resident mongoose is on holiday
I agree with Brett Favre. Snakes should be set free!
Gonna listen to some Jazz tonight. You know I love some great flute work. Do they provide it or is it bring your own basket?#snakeonthetown
Forgot DWTS is tonight! Someone DVR it for me. Want to watch Ralph Macchio go down for what he did to Cobra Kai Dojo.#snakeonthetown
Just me or is every sketch artist displaying the EXACT same sketch of John Lennon & Marilyn Monroe as examples of their work? Seems sketchy.
Rockefeller Plaza is amaz….wait…OMG! Tina Fey totally just walked by me! HUUUUGE FAN! #snakeonthetown
Obviously I’m a big fan of freedom! RT @soniamoghe
Kinda of curious about what @BronxZoosCobra
thinks about the revolution, Mubarak?
Loving the tall grass at The High Line. Wait!!! I totally saw boob in a window in the Standard Hotel!!!
Just FYI, I’ve had it with Samuel L. Jackson too.
If one more person on the street asks me, “Do you like comedy?” someone’s getting bit. #snakeonthetown
Holding very still in the snake exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. This is gonna be hilarious!
You know I like fat bottomed girls. I’m from the Bronx. Duh.
If you want to find me, I right in front of the original Ray’s Pizza.
Donald Trump is thinking about running for president?! Don’t worry, I’ll handle this. Where is Trump Tower exactly?
What does it take to get a cab in this city?! It’s cause I’m not white isn’t it.
A lot of people are asking how I can tweet with no access to a computer or fingers. Ever heard of an iPhone? Duh.
Want to clear up a misconception. I’m not poisonous as has been reported. I’m venomous. Super venomous, but not poisonous so don’t worry.
Anyone know if Rebecca Black lives in NYC? No reason.
I do speak Parseltongue, but with a thick Bronx accent.
I should take in a Broadway show. Anyone heard anything about this “Spiderman” musical?
Dear NYC, Apples and snakes have gone together since the beginning.